Behind Closed Doors
by BisquickBismarck
Summary: And he's staring at me: wondering where I've been and how I got there and who I was with and Riku is it really you and I'm not dreaming this time, right and Riku, Riku, wait, where's Kairi. [riku.sora: main][on haitus]
1. 000: Prelude

**Author's Note and General Warning: **Rated Strongly for later chapters; expect: _Sex, Drugs, Rape, Violence, Language, Self-Mutilation, Suicide Attempts, Hatred,_ and anything else your mother told you not to accept from strangers.

Remember: _If you don't have anything constructive to say; say it at your own risk Feedback is always encouraged._

**Classification**: An Adult Fic; expect nothing less.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own _Kingdom Hearts_ or any affiliated characters, references, objects of the like, etc. I hereby disclaim everything relating to Square Enix's _Kingdom Hearts _in every chapter of _Behind Closed Doors _from this point on.

* * *

**000** - Prelude

I used to make things happen.

Of these waxen hands; of every dirt-flecked molecule that darts, in haste, to keep my shambled shell afloat; of any flux that dare breach my stolid heart; who could and would command the dank defenses of what once portentously presented itself at the most prestige of omnipresent leagues, has now fallen.

_Sora._

The all-pervading prick of honey-tapered harmony.

My constant instability, and so my curtailed reign.

If any, once, sought spectacle higher than myself, let him justify my tumble.

Fuck; I _commanded_ sin.

With yielding flick, a ceaseless peak rose on rogue-toothed heels and tipped itself before my foot.

When I did but cough, a whirlwind bane spout acrid bile whose interminable terror spanned dimensions.

Rage bore midnight Hellhounds, bounding shadow-paws through monochromatic dreams that encompassed and destroyed.

Night without the glitzy glamour of heavenly bodies broken Eterna; and I cast my minions to fashion a New Order.

Even the stones, torrid in all their blundering worthlessness, would shuffle their ranks, bite their loss, and hide.

_From me._

No more.

I try.

I can't.

_Sora._


	2. 001: The Mistake

**001** - The Mistake

"But I wanted to name it!" his palms crash onto the splintering exterior of a curiously twisted tree. Childishly, Sora leans into his words, emphasizing them with an irritated pout.

"Tough." I throw a lazy leg across its lounging mate; framing his face with my thighs, "Don't instigate anything you think you can't afford."

Bewilderment slips into his expression, I can read it in his face: Riku's using big words again.

I roll my neck, seductively encouraging my smoky-pearl hair to jig with the rhythmic pops of my vertebra. "Don't start things you can't finish, numb-nuts."

Nudging his protruding chin forcefully with the rubber of my sole, I arch my back and slip from the trunk. It's a lovely tree, really it is, with twinkling, star-shaped fruit and posture as bad as mine, but I can't always help wishing a wood sander on it. The damn thing was just a bit too rough for extended relaxation.

"I want a rematch!" Sora's oversized yellow feet pound after me. _Persistent little fucker._

"Forget it, I already won," I wave him off and meander towards the Secret Place. Sora's fingers seize my forearm; the Shadow rears and he immediately realizes his mistake.

I whirl and pounce, flinging my full weight on his body. The startled boy screams as he teeters unsteadily. My practiced fist connects with his jaw; I'm rewarded with the scrape of crunching teeth. Snatching his shoulders, I press him into the broad foliage lining the lifeless support-trees that keep our bungalows aloft.

"No means no, Sora," his gaze is unintentionally glassy; this time, I really hurt him.

Regret clouds the folds of my mind, the dark little thing retreating from its damage. I curse my foolish lack of control. What am I: six or sixteen?

Sora sniffles, the façade of his toughness falling off in great chunks.

I slacken my grip, trying to comfort him with a softer touch. Soon, I am stroking the crest of his collarbone, fueled more and more by the tiny jitters bouncing in my throat.

Sora's inhibitions have seemingly fled him and he begins to cry.

Uncomfortable emotions surge in my chest for Sora. I've resisted, but can't help myself any longer.

Lifting the tear from his cheek, I bend to place a tender kiss on his forehead. Fluttery warmth engulfs me and I feel the coursing of my heart quicken. How beautifully his skin tastes, how sensitively he quivers and—

Runs away.

---

_My imaginary friend was never in my mind._

_He simply refused to stay._

_When I tried to keep him there, he'd touch my thoughts and make me break things._

_That's when the beatings started._

---

The sea breeze is a temptress.

She is shameless, and finds no better pleasure than teasing. Though courting the smeared remains of a departed sun, Wind invitingly croons her mingled Siren noises whilst weaving the tree branches into a turn.

Her curling fingers play havoc with my chromium tresses, threading them through amber nails and sometimes slipping them between her lips.

I bask in her games; she is the only comfort to me now.

I could have sworn I knew my feelings. I want Kairi. I lust for Kairi. I don't hide the way that I greedily watch the sway of her hips; she knows that I examine her lengthening legs with a hungry passion. But do I love Kairi? Is the attraction more than physical?

I…

I have always been the protector. They have always needed me. But now, Sora…He's pulling away. I'm not his shield and sword anymore.

No longer his everything.

Why does that hurt so much?

On the currents, a conversation billows, stopping the dizzying stir of my thoughts.

_Riku…Changed…_

The melody is Kairi's.

_Take the raft…Go…Just the two of us…_

Hurt and rage rouse the creature.

_Afraid…Ready…Always come back…_

Am I paranoid, or is that the smacking of lover's contact? The loud rustling of a challenged Beast eradicates the words of Sora from my ears.

…_Don't ever change…_

I furiously shift to leave, but something is nibbling on my foot.

* * *

**A/N: **I worked my butt off on this chapter.  
It's been in my head for days, but lack of sleep, illness, and mental writing blocks have been a brilliant hinderance.  
The story going through about a million titles and summaries in one day didn't really help either.  
x.o 

Anyways--

Hope you liked this installment of _"Behind Closed Doors"_!

**PLEASE REVIEW!**  
It only takes one _little_ click.


End file.
